Computer Engineer Husband...

Hey everyone... here is my first post after arriving in B'lore... life here is too busy... i dont find much extra time for blogging... anyways here it is... enjoy... stay commenting... ;)

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---HUSBAND - HAI DEAR,I AM LOGGED IN.

---WIFE - HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE DRESS.

---HUSBAND - BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME.

---WIFE - BUT I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT IN MORNING

---HUSBAND - ERRONEOUS SYNTAX, BORT,RETRY,CANCEL.

---WIFE - OH GOD !FORGET IT WHERE'S YOUR SALARY.

---HUSBAND - FILE IN USE,READ ONLY,TRY AFTER SOMETIME.

---WIFE - ATLEAST GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD,I CAN DO SOME SHOPPING.

---HUSBAND - SHARING VIOLATION,ACCESS DENIED.

---WIFE - I MADE A MISTAKE IN MARRING YOU.

---HUSBAND - DATA TYPE MISMATCH.

---WIFE - YOU ARE USELESS.

---HUSBAND - BY DEFAULT.

---WIFE - WHO WAS THERE WITH YOU IN THE CAR THIS MORNING.

---HUSBAND - SYSTEM UNSTABLE,PRESS ,, >TO REBOOT.

---WIFE - WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SOME SNACKS

---HUSBAND - HARD DISK FULL.

---WIFE - WHAT IS THE RELATION BETWEEN YOU & YOUR RECEPTIONIST.

---HUSBAND - THE ONLY USER WITH WRITE PERMISSION.

---WIFE - WHAT IS MY VALUE IN YOUR LIFE.

---HUSBAND - UNKNOWN VIRUS DETECTED.

---WIFE - DO YOU LOVE ME OR YOUR COMPUTER.

---HUSBAND - TOO MANY PARAMETERS.

---WIFE - I WILL GO TO MY DADS HOUSE.

---HUSBAND - PROGRAM PERFORMED ILLEGAL OPERATION,IT WILL CLOSE.

---WIFE - I WILL LEAVE YOU FOR EVER.

---HUSBAND - CLOSE ALL PROGRAMS & LOG OUT FOR ANOTHER >USER.

---WIFE - IT IS WORTHLESS TALKING TO YOU

---HUSBAND - SHUT DOWN THE COMPUTER.

---WIFE - I AM GOING

---HUSBAND - IT'S NOW SAFE TO TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER.

Finally at B'lore... New Office

Hey everybody...

Finally i am at B'lore... Yesterday i was my first day at my new office... office is really kool and good infrastructure... and ppls here are also good & co operative too...

Still i will need few days to settle down...

Thanks and hope u have a great day!

Your friend... Amish !

Happy Ram-Navmi

Hi !

I just wanna wish you a Happy Ram-Navmi.

And on this Ram-Navmi, let's show our gratitude to God... join me in saying a prayer and hope that this Ram-Navmi brings happiness and peace in everyone life.

I wish you happy n healthly week ahead. Take care and may God bless you.

Your friend Amishhh... !

Moving to B'lore

Hey everyone...

Well just came from the vacation and again dis weekend m moving to b'lore...
guess what?? Got a new job at B'lore... so moving at new place, new work environment, will meet new ppls... i am really excited... I may not be able to post for little while... but I promise i will try my best n keep updating dis blog...

Stay in touch... take care...

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Amish.

If you don't like my blog...

If you don't like my blog...
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Ye ley....

Bol acha lagta hai ..Bol...Bol!!!

Vacation...

Hello Guys... Yoooo!! I am very much excited... I am going to my hometown (Ahmedabad) for a few days i.e. from 17th March 06 and will be back in town (Hyderabad) on 26th March 06... I am really excited to meet my family and friends (gf too)... as I am going after a long time... I am not sure if i will get time for posting or not... anyways who care to reads dis blog n my post.. ;) ... c ya...

Amish...

Morden Dictionary...

Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master

Divorce : Future tense of marriage

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power ..

Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father : A banker provided by nature.

Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for posting and forwarding such emails...

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Isn't dis true ?? ... ;)

Love You More Than My Computer.....

Believe me it is true...
You installed the best in me.
Your picture is always in my background.
You clicked my heart gently.
You drive me crazy when I see you.
Your love reset my life and deleted all the sadness in me.
You restored my kindness after I thought it was corrupted.

I'm always connected to you with more than 56 heart beat per second.
You hacked my brain and registered your name in it.
You are the only one that could navigate my feelings
and explore my emotions at the same time.

I feel lost when I try to call you and you are not responding.
I always feel you close to me when
I shut down my eyes, or when I open my windows waiting for you to pass.
You are the only one that can log into my heart and never log out.
I dream of being your only server as long as I live.
You don't have to search for me,
cause we are always linked to each others.

I see your name everywhere,
my frontpage, my homepage and all my software.
I scanned my life and found
that I'm only infected by you.
You are the virus I'd never remove,
and why should I do?
You formatted my life and added happiness to view.
Believe me it is true... i love you more than my CPU!

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I love you more than my CPU!... (Amish) ;)

GirlFriend Troubleshooting...

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A Troubled User
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Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began expected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3,Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run,crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favourite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0.Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User.

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REPLY: From Tech Support
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Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this.

Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support." I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE.exe. Because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.

Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds5.0!

WARNING!!! NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Good luck,
Tech Support.

LOL... Never upgrade Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 ... ;)

Interesting IT Companies Names

Interesting IT Companies Full Names...

1. NIIT: Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO: Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. TCS: Totally Confusing Solutions
4. HCL: Hidden Costs & Losses
5. INFOSYS: Inferior Offline Systems
6. HUGHES: Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. IBM: Implicitly Boring Machines
8. SATYAM: Sad and Tired Yelling Away Madly
9. PARAM: Puzzled and Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
10. C-DOT: Coffee during Office Timings
11. AT&T: All Troubles & Terrible
12. CMC: Coffee, Meals and Comfort
13. DEC: Drifting & Exhausted Computers
14. BFL: Brainwash first and Let them go
15. TISL: Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.
16. PSI: Peculiar Symptoms of India
17. ORACLE: On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.
18. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.
19. MASTEK: Mad and Stupid Technicians Enrooted to Kabaarkhana

LOL... Interesting Full names... right??

10 Rules For A Good Day

10 Rules For A Good Day

1. TODAY I WILL NOT STRIKE BACK:
   If someone is rude, if someone is impatient, if someone is unkind... I will not respond in a like manner.
   
2. TODAY I WILL ASK GOD TO BLESS MY "ENEMY":
   If I come across someone who treats me harshly or unfairly, I will quietly ask God to bless that individual. I understand the "enemy" could be a family member, neighbor, co-worker, or a stranger.
   
3. TODAY I WILL BE CAREFUL ABOUT WHAT I SAY:
   I will carefully choose and guard my words being certain that I do not spread gossip.
   
4. TODAY I WILL GO THE EXTRA MILE:
   I will find ways to help share the burden of another person.
   
5. TODAY I WILL FORGIVE:
   I will forgive any hurts or injuries that come my way.
   
6. TODAY I WILL DO SOMETHING NICE FOR SOMEONE, BUT I WILL NOT DO IT SECRETLY:
   I will reach out anonymously and bless the life of another.
   
7. TODAY I WILL TREAT OTHERS THE WAY I WISH TO BE TREATED:
   I will practice the golden rule - "Do unto others as I would have them do unto me" - with everyone I encounter.
   
8. TODAY I WILL RAISE THE SPIRITS OF SOMEONE I DISCOURAGED:
   My smile, my words, my _expression of support, can make the difference to someone who is wrestling life.
   
9. TODAY I WILL NUTURE MY BODY:
   I will eat less; I will eat only healthy foods. I will thank God for my body.
   
10. TODAY I WILL GROW SPIRITUALLUY:
    I will spend a little more time in prayer today: I will begin reading something spiritual or inspirational today; I will find a quiet place (at some point during the day) and listen to God's voice!
    

if u have a good days in your life so apply that friendship ..i m also your friend..
Be Creative...

Luv you... Amish...

Poetic Resignation !

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Employee Resignation
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Subject: I don't know if I should stay.

The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig
The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.

To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say
My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.

The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age
This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate
Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don't know if I should stay!

The managers don't know what they talk
The team doesn't know where they walk
That's a bad situation, what say?
I don't know if I should stay.

I can go to any other place
But what if I get the s ame disgrace
I can't keep switching day by day
I don't know if I should stay.

The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess
No more will I walk their way,
It's all done, I won't stay.

Thanks & Regards
Employee

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Manager Response
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Reply: What I want to say? (Manager)

The decision is good or decision is bad
Only God knows still I am glad
Keep moving in! life that is what I can say

If you feel right go in the same way
May god give you the work, the challenge you want
Anyway there is always a second chance
Chances are there, grab them snatch them
That is what I can say

Keep on jumping companies to get more and more and more....
That will keep you always a fore (Even to me)
From my experience I can tell you
Being in software development is like taking hell out of you
You are frustrated since you have no quality work
And you were frustrated because you had quantity work

It's always like that previous job was better than the current one
And expects the new job will be much better than this one
But what you get is a frustration level up to sun
Than you will again send the resignation like this one
This is all what I want to say

Have you completed all the formalities?
Filled the form and got it signed from department humanities (HR)
Once done you can take all your cash
But don't refer others as they will follow you're a*s.
At last I appreciate your contribution to the company
Even though there was not any....

You will keep a copy of this with you for FYI
Don't feel shy
As I also got it some time back from my old manger say Hi....
That is all what I want to say.

Thanks & Regards
Manager.

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Isn't dat kool resignation and kool response from manager...??

What if the I.T. industry starts producing movies?

I hope everyone enjoyed on Valentine's Day ... :)

Here is another issue...
What if the I.T. industry starts producing movies?

Some Film titles may be like these : --

Network Ke Us Paar

Meri Disc Tumhare Paas Hai

Aao Chat Kare

Programmer No.1

Mera Naam Developer

Java Wale Job Le Jayenge

Hum Apke Memory Mein Rahate Hein

Do Processor, Baarah Terminal

Tera Code Chal Gaya

Har Din Jo Mail Karega

Debugging Koi Khel Nahi

Jish Desh Mein Bill Gates Rehatha Hai

Raju Ban Gaya MCSE ..!

Client Ek Numbari, Programmer Dus Numbari

Login Karo Sajana

Naukar PC Ka

1942 -- A Bug Story

Kaho Na Virus Hai

Crash Se Crash Tak

Haan Meine Bhi Debug Kiya Hai

Shaheed Hacker Singh

Password De Ke Dekho

Terminal Apna , Login Parayi

Mr. Network Lal

Terminal Sajaake Rakhna

Hackers Ka Raja, Debuggers Ki Rani

Kyonki Mein Debug Nahin Kartha

Phir Theri Java-script Yaad Aayi

Hang To Hona Hi Tha


Leave you comment if you like... or you have any movie name suggestion :D

---
Your Friend Amish Gilani.

Happy Valentines Day to every one !

A big loving hello to all of you!

Well, the most romantic day of the year finally here. It is the day to love and be loved. So get set...

What are your plans for the big night ? Do you intend to have a big party with your friends or just with your soul mate ? Well, whatever just make sure that you have an overdose of love this February 14 ! So if you are looking for that perfect chance to let your crush know about it all, just say it ! And as you pamper your sweetheart, do spread some love around your friends and folks as well. Tell your mom just how precious she is with some cool Valentine's Day gift.

Valentine's Day doesn’t include just romantic love. So wish everyone a very Happy Valentine's Day, send some warm wishes to all your dear ones.

Friends
Friends are those special people in our lives who love us unconditionally and are always there for us. So on this love-filled day, make sure you let your friends know just how much their presence means to you. Having a true friend is really a blessing. Now if you are so blessed, celebrate it by sending some cool ecards to all your pals.

I Love You
It’s sheer magic when someone says, “I love you”, isn’t it ? After all, the sentence bonds “you” and “I” by love ! So get closer to your special someone by speaking your heart out. And if you can’t gather the courage to say it, worry not. I have the perfect I Love You ecards that will speak on your behalf.

Family
Now I'm sure you’ll have a lot of wishing to do on Valentine's Day—your parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, siblings, cousins, in-laws, et al. Wow, a family sure is a big hub of love, isn't it ? I have a lot of fun with my family and I'm sure you do too. So this February 14 take the opportunity to wish all those special people who make life so much fun and comfortable for us right from the day we’re born !

Thank You
Although it’s Valentine's Day, it’s disturbing to know that many people are lonely and living without love. That indeed makes us realize how lucky we are to have folks around us. So appreciate this gift and say a special Thank You to all those who care for you. Shower your gratitude on them by sending them some heartfelt greetings.

Missing You
It’s sad when lovers have miles to conquer and can’t meet often. So if distance is playing the villain and you are far away on Valentine's Day, send some virtual kisses and smooches to your better half now ! Missing You ecards are right here to carry your feelings forward. On a brighter note, distance does make the heart grow fonder. So why not revel on that cheery thought ?

That’s a lot of love I have just spoken about, being a happy SINGLE ! So evidently, you need not feel sad if you are single. Believe it or not, with a great bunch of friends and folks, no one can ever be single. So smile and party with Valentine’s Day wishes.


Happy Valentine's Day to every one !

Your friend Amish !

14th Feb is coming.....

14th Feb is coming

So…….

“Prevention is better than cure”

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LOL...

Rarely available photos...

1) Tim Berners Lee -- Founder of the World Wide Web




2) Picture taken when microsoft was started




3) Steve Woznaik(sitting) and Steve Jobs of APPLE Computers.
He was three months late in filing a name for the business because he didn't get any better name for his new company.
So one day he told to the staff: "If I'll not get better name by 5 o'clcok today, our company's name will be anything he likes..."
So at 5 o'clcok nobody comeup with better name, and he was eating APPLE that time...
so he keep the name of the company 'Apple Computers'




4) Bill Hewlett(L) and Dave Packard(R) of HP.
Behind them in the picture is the famous HP Garage.
Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard tossed a coin to decide whether the company they founded would be called Hewlett-Packard or Packard-Hewlett.
And the winner was NOT Bill... the winner was Dave.


5) Ken Thompson (L)and Dennis Ritchie(R) ,creators of UNIX.
Dennis Ritchie improved on the B programming language and called it 'New B'.
B was created by Ken Thompson as a revision of the Bon programming language (named after his wife Bonnie)
He later called it C.




6) Larry Page(L) and Sergey Brin(R), founders of Google.
Google was originally named 'Googol'.
After founders (Stanford graduates) Sergey Brin and Larry Page presented their project to an angel investor...they received a cheque made out to 'Google' !...
So they kept name as GOOGLE




7) Gordon Moore(L) and Bob Noyce(R) ,founders of Intel.
Bob Noyce and Gordon Moore wanted to name their new company 'Moore Noyce'.
But that was already trademarked by a hotel chain...
So they had to settle for an acronym of INTegrated ELectronics... INTEL





8) Andreas Bechtolsheim , Bill Joy, Scott Mc Nealy and Vinod Khosla of SUN(StanfordUniversity Network) MicroSystems.
Founded by four StanfordUniversity buddies.
Andreas Bechtolsheim built a microcomputer;
Vinod Khosla recruited him;
Scott McNealy to manufacture computers based on it;
and Bill Joy to develop a UNIX-based OS for the computer...
SUN is the acronym for Stanford University Network.




9) Linus Torvalds of Linux Operating System Linus Torvalds originally used the Minix OS on his system which he replaced by his OS.
Hence the working name was Linux (Linus' Minix).
He thought the name to be too egotistical and planned to name it Freax (free + freak + x).
His friend Ari Lemmk encouraged Linus to upload it to a network so it could be easily downloaded.
Ari gave Linus a directory called linux on his FTP server, as he did not like the name Freax. Linus like that directory name and he kept the name of his new OS to LINUX...




10) Picture taken when INFY was started. This picture was found in the album of the clerk who took this picture...
The picture was with that clerk only because it was his birthday and he just told everyone to stand together at one place to take a pic.
He borrow a camera from his friend and as he can not tell any of his boss to take pic, so he took pic by himself... even it was his birthday.



AND THIS PICTURE WAS TAKEN WHEN SUPERHIT SHOLEY WAS STARTED......
They were looking at ashrani when he was doing practice first time with his funny Jailer's dress... ALONE on one rock...

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Wow... Even i dint saw some pics before i got this email... I really like these pics... so i though to share... ;-)

Amish Gilani.

New rule for seat belt ..!

Seat Belt

The National Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt.

Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed.

Correct installation is illustrated below...

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So what do you feel on new rule of seat belt... lol...

I am comfortable with new rule.... do you have any comment ... :D ??

Amish Gilani.

A computer virus, scheduled to strike on February 3...

Beware the 'Kama Sutra' virus
Kama Sutra virus to hit India hardest. via. Times of India.

The Kama Sutra is giving computer professionals across the world sleepless
nights. But not in the way you think.

A computer virus, scheduled to strike on February 3, Kama Sutra will
corrupt documents with the most common file types, including doc, pdf and zip
files.

And here's the bad news: India will be the most affected.

Speaking to The Times of India , managing director of Centre for Anti Virus
Technology, Pune, Kailash Katkar, said:
"This virus first emerged on January 16. It has already crashed 300,000
computers across the globe. However, its worst effect will be felt on February
3. We feel the virus specially targets computers with the Norton anti-virus
software. That puts India, Peru and Italy, where this software is used in
abundance, in grave risk. The only way people can save their files is by
updating their anti-virus software before February 3."

Read Complete article here...

Related Links:
http://www.crime-research.org/news/31.01.2006/1794/
http://news.com.com/Kama+Sutra+worm+seduces+PC+users/2100-7349_3-6030129.html
http://abc.net.au/science/news/stories/s1559542.htm
http://www.stuff.co.nz/stuff/0,2106,3558992a28,00.html

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Computers can be protected by ensuring anti-virus software updates are current.
-------------------
Amishhh...

Swami Vivekananda - Don't limit your challenges, Challenge your limits...

Must Read...

When I Asked God for Strength
He Gave Me Difficult Situations to Face

When I Asked God for Brain & Brown
He Gave Me Puzzles in Life to Solve

When I Asked God for Happiness
He Showed Me Some Unhappy People

When I Asked God for Wealth
He Showed Me How to Work Hard

When I Asked God for Favors
He Showed Me Opportunities to Work Hard

When I Asked God for Peace
He Showed Me How to Help Others

God Gave Me Nothing I Wanted
He Gave Me Everything I Needed

- Swami Vivekananda

---------------------
Amish...

New CPU design.. isn't dat gr8...???

New CPU design...